The Doctor is In

I usually avoid fictionalized rape stories.  A movie, a show, a play, any sort of performed or written narrative meant to dramatize the emotions of the rape victim or "reveal a message" about rape and its consequences/influences.  I'm more tolerant of personal narratives and writings by actual rape victims, but I've just seen so many helpless-looking young ingénues with mascara streaming down their faces alternate between hysterical tears and stoic silences peppered with angry bursts of "don't touch me!" and frankly, I don't believe them. 

I think I'm jaded, I'm probably biased, and I definitely still have issues coming to terms with my own history.  But my bottom line is that I am tired of seeing rape victims portrayed in the same way.  We aren't all helpless, but we also don't all put up a tough front.  We aren't all virginal victims, but we weren't "asking for it."  We don't ALWAYS cry at EVERYTHING.  Some days it seems like it, but not always.  Some of us handle the situation with such coolness that you can't believe that our whole life has just been turned on its head.  Some of us avoid the situation entirely.  Some of us just sleep it off, 20 hours or more a day.  And the weepy ingénue above is left as the one public face of all of us.

The rant is over now so I'll let the rest of my story begin.  Flipping through cable channels, I came across a rerun of House.  The info read "One Day, One Room... While House is forced to work full-time in the clinic and deal with a rape victim who insists on confiding with him, Cameron deals with a terminal cancer patient trying to take advantage of her state of mind."  I changed channels.  Over the course of the next hour I caught snippets of the House episode as I surfed during commercial breaks.  The survivor, Eve, did indeed seem to be playing the stereotypical victim that I had come to expect.  Angry, weepy, suicidal, and yet still emotionally dead. Eve refused to work with anyone except the sadistic Dr. House.  His reasoning was that she was trying to regain control after having all power taken from her by her rapist.  Yada yada yada, I didn't really care... until the second to last scene.

In one short moment, the whole episode came brilliantly into perspective. Eve tells House her rape story, but only AFTER he reveals to her that he, too, was abused.  And the light bulb comes on.  You don't actually hear Eve's rape story, but I didn't need to.  There was true life, hidden in a few tiny lines of dialogue.  I was luckily able to DVR the episode and watch it in full, this time with fresh eyes.  I can't say that the clarity of the final scene fully redeemed Eve's character writing, but I felt a little changed.  Less cynical, if only for an hour or so.  In Eve, I now saw myself.  What we do at DartHeart, is what House does.  Why we do it is why Eve finally revealed her story.  There is an inexplicable level of trust and camaraderie amongst survivors of abuse or trauma.  That little "me too" breaks down solid walls of fear, anxiety, and isolation.  I've been there with a "let me tell you my story" and received a "thanks, now let me tell you mine."  That instant kinship... if you've never felt that connection I hope that you do someday, though hopefully in more positive circumstances.  It's like walking alone and senseless, in the cold and dark, then suddenly someone grasps your hand and the sun comes out.  Okay, that's a cheesy analogy, but you get the idea.  The point is that an episode of House somehow embodied what I perceive to be a (possibly) universally true survivor response.  And I may actually rethink my position on rape narratives.  Maybe.