Interview with a Survivor

I recently had the opportunity to interview Ann Gonzalez, author, teacher, and survivor of trauma, about her latest book Running for My Life. Much like many DartHeart members, Ann has used her art to explore issues of her trauma and recovery so I was interested to know more about her writing process and why it's been a successful recovery technique for her.

JO: Why did you choose writing as your outlet? Have you always been a writer or were you drawn to writing as a coping mechanism?

Gonzalez: I came to writing late in life and largely because of PTSD. My mother, who was schizophrenic, was adamant that I should never write or speak about my experiences. Like many who have been traumatized, I suffered the trauma and in addition was threatened to never speak about it. When I first got into therapy after finding myself crying unexpectedly in meetings at work, my therapist encouraged me to write. Writing was my first experience with Grace...or what I considered grace. It was terribly scary for me to write, but I made friends with some incredibly supportive writers.

After writing for a while, I mustered up the courage, after a lot of prompting from my writer friends, to submit a story to a magazine. When the magazine told me they wanted to publish it, I knew writing was a calling that I couldn't ignore.

I've written three novels now, one that is scheduled to be released on March 27th. All the novels deal with aspects of trauma, and I am absolutely using writing as a way to work through the experience of being traumatized and of having PTSD...there's no doubt about it.

JO: Although you were encouraged to complete a novel through your participation in NANOWRIMO (National Novel Writing Month), why did you choose to write about your trauma instead of another topic?

Gonzalez: With NANOWRIMO, I experienced, for the first time, what I call "immersion writing." I didn't know what I was going to write about when I began. I started with my character and just started writing. As it turned out, she had some experiences similar to ones I had as a teenager. There were moments when I was writing Running for My Life, when I was typing and reading, that I wished the character would just give up and quit because I knew she was going to walk into a heck of a lot of trouble and I couldn't bear it. Immersion writing is an amazing experience I liken it to writing with the less dominant hand - the writer works through things but through an unconscious process.

JO: Did you notice any changes in your post traumatic stress recovery as you wrote the novel? Do your symptoms worsen or improve through this immersion in the events and emotions of the past?

Gonzalez: Writing is very difficult for me because it does take me to very painful parts of my past. However, once I've written through it, and given the character redemption at the end, I feel much better. It's as though following my character through the dark night of the soul helps me to make the same journey with the support of my friend. I often cry when writing a novel, but I wouldn't say my symptoms became worse. I just experience grief.

Just in writing these blog postings, we here at DartHeart can relate to the challenge Ann describes in writing about post traumatic stress and our own personal trauma experiences. Despite this, we too find the task ultimately rewarding and hope that you'll send us your comments if you're up for sharing your thoughts or insights on your own experience, our writing, Ann's work, whatever interests you!

For more details on Ann and her work, visit www.anngonzalez.com. Look for her latest book on shelves this Friday (or at Amazon now)!